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“Every Challenge Can be a Blessing: 7 tips for Successfully Negotiating Crisis”
By Dr. Cindy Brown, “The Relationship Strategist”
As a behavior specialist, relationship and results coach I help 1000s of people a year deal with various issues and challenges. I help business people communicate more effectively with others and set and reach their professional goals. I help individuals deal with work/life balance, improve finances, negotiate relationships, have better intimacy or even deal with their own emotional issues. Recently, I have had many clients who needed help with grieving the loss of a parent and/or friend. Little did I know that the very work I was doing with my clients would eventually prepare me to handle my own crisis and challenges in this area.
It turns out that the universe was indeed preparing me; my mother transitioned the Monday right before Thanksgiving 2007. I got the frantic call you never want to get from my father Sunday morning and really did not expect how I would react or feel. It was challenging to say the least.
How do you prepare yourself for any crisis or challenge?…The best you can!!
Here are my strategies and advice so you can be as prepared as you can
1.) Make sure you have a friend or confidant you can call instantly to help you. Make sure it is someone you can trust with your emotions and will listen to you and give you what you need. You may have to tell that person exactly what you need in order to get what you need. I have found many people don’t always know what we need to hear, or what we need from them to feel better. I had my sweetheart come over when I got the emergency call and help me pack, I had him write lists, empty the garbage and help me straighten up before I got on the airplane to fly to see my mother. He also took my brother and I to the airport.
 2.) Have emergency cash or credit cards you can use quickly. When you get that call you want to be able to take care of yourself and your needs. Prepare for this so you don’t miss the opportunity to take care of yourself in an emergency.
3.) Have a known system to help your business run smoothly in your absence. Have a systems binder with client’s names, so you or your assistant can contact your clients. Have a procedure manual so your assistants can do work in your absence, so you don’t lose time, money or opportunities. Or if you are an employee, make sure you have important numbers to reach your boss or other employees you need to notify, research and make sure you have sick or emergency leave days available before the crisis strikes.
 4.) During a crisis or challenge, make sure you are taking care of your basic needs; make sure you are eating and sleeping enough and regularly to keep up your strength and natural immune functions, since you may be overly stressed and can easily catch something. Make sure you are well-hydrated and taking supplements such as emergenC, airborne or air- armor to help you build up your immune system and prevent imbalances in the body during this stressful time for you.
5.) Have a friend come stay with you or visit with you often during the first week or so. I was most vulnerable and emotionally needy the first two weeks following my mothers passing. The first week it was helpful to be around my family in Denver each day and cry, laugh and reminisce about mom. We took hikes together, meditated, prepared for the funeral, made phone calls and celebrated her spirit, humor and creativity by singing, playing music, laughing and talking together. This was a much needed healing process. The second week I had my sweetheart come stay over each night. It helped me with my sadness and longing feelings I felt more at night. He was able to hold me and be available for me to cry with him from that deep place. This was very a very nurturing and healing experience for me.
 6.) Share your challenge with others. It was quite interesting sharing with everyone about my loss. Each time I did I received an unexpected gift of love, compassion and some sort of advice and understanding from their personal experience. I even had an interesting exchange with my office landlord, who is usually gruff and unfriendly. We shared a personal moment of common understanding that will forever change how we interact…What a blessing! You never know what gift you will give or receive by sharing and listening... try it... you’ll see!!!
And my final and most important tip is:
 7.) Surrender, and have private time to do your personal and/or spiritual process. I found that I was remaining strong and stoic throughout the first week of this challenge so I could help my distraught Father and older sister cope with their tremendous grief and reactions. I was making memory boards, picking out music and poems and making phone calls, all along keeping my deep feelings and tears at bay so I could help everyone else cope.
Then I broke down one night and allowed myself to cry on the phone with my sweetheart and then surrendered the next day to just take care of myself. I slept late, had a good breakfast, worked out, took a walk in the mountains, talked to some friends, meditated and connected with my mom. I surrendered to God’s care and my own care. I felt rejuvenated and ready for the trip back home and to continue my life having worked through the challenges and crisis of losing my mom, but gaining a sense of control over my life and any crisis life can throw at me.
I hope these tips have helped you and/or will help you if you encounter a future challenge or crisis.
Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call or contact me so I can support you.
© 2007 Dr. Cindy Brown
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Here is one of my mother’s beautiful paintings; I have many of her works of art in my office and in my home so I can celebrate her each time I look at them. A great artist, mother, wife to my father for over 49 years and grandmother will be truly missed, however her spirit lives on in all of us, in art and in nature’s sweet breeze.
Dr. Cindy Brown, “The Relationship Strategist,” a leading behavior and relationship specialist, executive and results coach, international business trainer, author and speaker who has helped 1000’s of executives, individuals and couples in the areas of relationship skills and success strategies; leadership and communication skills; Business/Employee Health, Work/ Life Balance and Stress Management. She is author of The Cinderella System™ 7 Steps to Attracting the Man & Relationship of Your Dreams and Co-author of Power & Soul.
