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“What’s Scary About Being in a Relationship? Part 1”
By Dr. Cindy Brown, “The Relationship Strategist ”
What’s scary about being in a relationship?
I’ll tell you! There are many things we hear from our friends, we see in the news, on TV, or in the latest movies such as “Why Did I Get Married?” AND despite the age-old myth of “you live happily ever after... in bliss,” being in a relationship takes a lot of work! You actually do have to use some relationship skills to make it last longer these days. We only know how hard it is because we see divorce rates soaring, our friends are in unstable relationships or breaking up and we see the constant popularity of the online dating revolving door.
So what are some of the challenges people are having being in relationship?
This is what my friends and clients are reflecting to me are their issues...
 Communication: People seem to not know how to communicate with each other without pushing each other’s buttons. People seem to use the wrong language or tone, which triggers another person’s dormant wounds (possibly repressed or unresolved issues from childhood or the past). In addition, many of us did not have positive relationship models in our parents or caregivers, so we model that which we know. This is not always the healthiest manner in which to communicate. I coach individuals, executives and couples on how to communicate in a way that gets you the most positive results. I also have a product called Relationship Secrets that gives you the relationship techniques and strategies so you will communicate with success every time.
Being Heard and Listened to: One of the biggest complaints I hear women make are that they do not feel heard or listened to by men. Women think it’s because men don’t know how to listen. I see it that women don’t know how to talk to men SO they WILL LISTEN. Many woman talk to men in a blaming or accusing way (negative tone and language), often men feel castrated when they are talked to this way and so respond from a defensive animal-like way. It’s their knee jerk response to being put down. Women need to learn to talk in a way to make men feel good first, then men will listen with open ears and open hearts. I teach individuals and couples this secret language of win-win communication. Contact me when you would like coaching.
 Finding time to Nurture Yourself (private time): Many people complain that it is difficult once you are in a relationship to find time just to be by yourself. We often have so many things on our plates and it seems many of us put ourselves last when it comes time for taking care of our own needs. Many people neglect exercise, quiet time, reading, thinking, journaling and spiritual time once they enter into a relationship. When in fact, these very activities, when completed regularly, would benefit you and the relationship greatly in the long run. Other activities I recommend are getting a massage, facial or mani-pedi, walking on the beach, meditating, yoga and hiking.
YES these can be done with another person, however when we do activities by ourselves we get the benefit of turning within and listening to our internal voice or communing with spirit (whichever is more comfortable for you). When you fill yourself up into a whole-being and then relate with another whole-being, your relationship can be one of sharing, not needing or taking from each other.
I have shared 3 of the 6 major challenges people have in relationships today. In my next issue I will share in part 2 the other 3 important challenges people have - Balancing your life, Being Satisfied, Compromise vs. Narcissism.
These 3 issues you too can instantly start to improve and implement any of the changes or suggestions into your life and relationship as you see fit. I hope you find them useful and helpful. ***Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call or contact me so I can support you in having the best life you’ve ever had!
© 2007 Dr. Cindy Brown
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Behavior and Relationship Specialist Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cinderella System™ 7 Steps to Attracting the Man & Relationship of Your Dreams, publishes an information-packed monthly online newsletter with 100's of subscribers. If you're ready to jump-start your life and relationships professionally or personally, get your FREE Special Report & Audio Class now at www.SuccessfulRelationshipsNow.com or www.DrCindyBrownIntl.com |
October is here and fading fast! I am still busy in the production phase of my new book; editing and finalizing the back cover; creating marketing materials, ads and getting ready for the book launch and media campaign in December and early January 2008. Stay tuned for all the exciting details of my launch and the bonuses you will be eligible for when you pre-order the book.
BOY! If you had ever told me what writing this book would do to my life... I don’t know if I would of believed you. It’s both challenging and interesting every day! I am working on my media biz and ad campaign and I’m really excited I just got new promotional photos taken. Check out a couple of them, one here and one in my bio section. You will be seeing all of them on my promotional materials for the book and also on my new website coming the end of November.
Dr. Cindy Brown, “The Business & Relationship Doctor” is a leading behavior expert and relationship specialist, executive and results coach, international business trainer, author and motivational speaker who has helped 1000’s of executives, individuals and couples in the areas of relationship skills and success strategies; leadership and communication skills; Business/Employee Health and Work/ Life Balance. She is author of The Cinderella System™ 7 Steps to Attracting the Man & Relationship of Your Dreams and Co-author of Power & Soul.
